Why are there two sides of any relation? Why am I in any relation? Why freedom always repels me? Either I am here being a daughter or a friend or a sister. These jobs are hard. Heh pretty much than you think. As I don't want to be with any of the person of my life being a candle, I want bursting fire whose flames give scars! A lifetime memory!
I'm always stuck between people and the relations with them even if I'm the one who believes in it the least. Still I mess things up. Why even I care for this? All I care is for my little world of happiness! Even if I know that my parents are never going to leave me still I'm afraid of losing them. I want to talk to them. But why I can't? Why they can't?
Why I'm half in relationship with them? I decided to stay away from twitter and English seasons and reading for a while but these thoughts are still coming. Staying longer than the last. Happening first time . Why? Just because I told this to someone? To whom? Am I in a good terms with people who care for me? Am I? The fear, the thoughts, the realization and the depression; are these mandatory? Even though I'm not connected to twitter and seasons and books then from where these thoughts are coming into my mind and making me insane to write this?
Is this thinking spontaneous? Or the product of past? Or the byproduct of some supernatural evil thing? But I'm all good, I'm with good people with good terms! One thing I know is, that these are not the byproducts of over thinking. I am pretty much certain.
Every thing is momentary then why the attraction stays long? Why relationships stay the same and lose the charm after certain life goals? Relationship with not just the person of interest, but with the thoughts, with the nature, with my laptop, with my mind. If emotions can be the instance of time then why they make home in our heart? They suppose to be ugly, naked and hard to bear sometimes, or say brutal but it seems sugar coated with fake accents !
Sometimes I thought relations are there to protect us from our dangerous desires! Protect us so we don't harm ourselves, they are there to care for us when we think world is not responding to our most necessary calls! Relations don't teach us to determine our best priorities, they advise us with significance of life experience about how to prioritize. We determine what relations are affirming for us; and the sequence of values we need to pursue to achieve the best of it!
Why this
contradiction ?
-Kemil Ghoghari (edited by Pooja Mehta )
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